i almost died .

soo i got my tonsils taken out on augusta 17tth and i fely hotrrible all last week and on tuesday after taking some pain meds i threw up---BLOOD . so my mama took me to the emergency room and i was sittn in there for 45 mins waiting...spitting up blood all the while until i have this feeling take over my throat like im gunna throw up everything i ate in the last ten years. so i get the nurse's attention and she says that the doctor will be with me "ina few moments" --well obviously i didnt have a few moments cuz right then i threw up tissue and large clots of blood .

they finally brought a wheelchair and took me back into the patient area so that they could get me on the bed and get my vitals and everything . the whole i time i feel as if i'm going to die . my mama had stepped out to get some fresh air so all this happened when i was lonesome....very much so . i felt as though i was on the brink of death .

i kept throwing up blood clots all the way up until my mama was located and came where i was breathing hard and long as if she was panicking herself--i think she was . sooo im still heeving away and finally the throwing up stops and now its just spitting . im spitting the blood out of my outh as the nurses try to find a vein and get some blood . i mean, there was a bucket full of blood i had thrown up right in front of me and they could've just scooped some outta there, but noooooo . they had to get it it from one of my tiney veins . i know this because everytime it came to finding a vein to draw blood from, it was difficult...even when i donated at skool....even when i just wentt o the doctor to get tested...so i KNEW that they were'nt gunna find a good vein . they tried for about an hour to find a vein until one of the nurses decided they would have to do an ABG .

for those who arent familiar with healthcare lingo, an ABG is when they get blood directly from your artery . its painful and the only thing that kept my mind off the pain wasn't my mama'snervous voice, or the doctor tlking about what went wrong with my tonsilectomy, but the ONLY thing that kept my mind off the pain was the realization that I COULD DIE . if i threw up too much blood, then a R.I.P could be in order and i'm a lover and a fighter. i wasnt gunna just die . i was afraid...im not gunna sit here and say i wasnt cuz i was . very much so .

so after they finally got the blood the doctor told me they would have o go back into my throat at cauterixe the stubs that used to be my tonsils so that the bleeding would stop.....


to make a long story shorter, they did it and im alive . i wrote =this just to let everyone who takes the time to read this knw, that if i NEVER cherished my life before...i TRULY CHERISH it now....i suggest you do the sme .


-essence .