okay so.

life is pretty mch amazing. im kinda diggin this new dude that DANGEROUSLY appeared in my life and the task of getting my grades up wasnt hard either. i mean i just gotta stop being lazy or what not.

yupyup. spending Thanksgiving here and then going to Alabam wid my mama to check on our old house. you know im gonna partyy wid some of my friends. PART PARTY PARTY. im excited...

but other than that just tryna live my life to the fullest. too many people dying young.

adios.

ughh ; life.

so basically my grade suck. i HAVE to get them thangs UP.... cuz i refuse to be like some of the people at our schoool, 19 && still aint graduate. like wtf. i will not be. so i need to work on that.


todays chad's funeral. i want to be happy he's ina better place, but i know i'm gonna cry like hell. usually im the one who comforts everyone else, but it s crazyy seeing someone younger than you ina casket. i mean my day could be coming. you never know.


on a ahappier note, my green room is finally fixed backk up. my mama kicked me out of it cuz she said it was a 'priveledge' and when i moved out i lost that privlege. oh, and for those who dont know, my green room is the loft over the garage and i painted it green and turned it into my bedroom. i got a couch, a futon, and my queen size bed in that bii, it's pretty large ! lol...

so right now im still on that FUCK A NIGGA shit. like aint no nigga prove me wrong about how niggas be so i guess i'm stickingg to it. TIRED of getting my heart broken and hurt *&& shitt. i'm a SINGLE LAYDEE for now....until i'm proved wrong.

being productive *&& having fun.

well...chad's death has made me realize i nee to de-clutter my life man. i mean everyday aint promised and i wanna be able to live to the fullest and stope having so much shit built up within my soul and everything else.

so...i am...
*making my diet stricter

*keeping my room clean

*keeping the real ones close

* and pouring my heart to yall in this blog because this may be my living testament.


so my best advice to yall is to do the same

* * *

anyways, tomorrow is the greenbrier vs lakeside game. im going wid bella and we gonna wild out like ALWAYS. then saturday theres a few parties i might hit up.

thats it.


post tomorro :)

alone.

i've figured out this world is a fckn lie.

*dont trust a damn soul but the people you knwo would cherish your soul if you had nothing.

*be happy wid yourself.

shiiiid, i can give shit less what anybody says or thinks about me. the people who judge thee most have the LOWEST self esteem.


adios.

life.

its crazyy. its like everytime i turn around another young person i know dies. R.I.P. CHAD WILLIAMS. man. me and him aint end on good terms but he was a cool ass dude when i was cool wit him.

shit, i think about the crazyy times we had and i feel bad cz we never reconciled out shit. we just let it ride. ughh. i feel horrible. i mean, i wanna cherish every moment cuz i know tomorro is definitely not promised and its crazy to think that in a blink of an eye you GONE. :(

dude, i'm going to his funeral or what not. its hard man, cuz people always leave before you could apologize or they could apologize or a truce can be made.

CHERISH LIFE, i will.

so, whats in store ;;

i fckn fell in love wid georgia southern. so THATS WHERE I'M GOING. super fckn excited dude. mannnnn, the dorms i wanna stay in are so hawt. they actually have FULL SIZED BEDS. anyone who alreadyy down there lets talkk cuz i dnt wanna come down there in june clueless as a mug, ya digg.

*&&+ i like have big brothers or sisters to guide me. especially since imma be on my own again *&& shii. i love statesboro. especially for college. i know it's a 'party college' but i think i'll fit in well. so HERES MY PLANS FER COLLEGE: =]

1] GET THERE. i have to go to EIP during the summer so i 'll be able to get accquainted in the summer and meet new people and earn 8 credits.

2] MINGLE. im a people person and i digg meeting new people. shit, i want a roomate i dnt know so i can expand, ya digg.

3] KEEP THE GRADES UP. i dont wanna get there then drop out cuz of too much partying. i wanna go *&& stay and graduate.

4]EXPAND. i wanna build new relationships and have some fun and try new shit, and what not :)


SO I'M EXCITED. yupyup..leave me something people.

playingg the field :) *&& some more truths :))

i have ecided to play the field. its actually pretty fun. i see why niggas fo it so much :). dudes have so mmuch fun textingg liek 5 girls at once. i see how its fun. its funny to see how niggs tryy to spit game while im plaingg them. haha. thats funny. NIGGS ARE A TRIP.

might go out to eat wid tiff *&& demetria tonight. idk yet wether im gonna need the extrasleep or not. Tomorrow i'm goign to open house at georgia southern. im excited :) yupyup. PARTY SCHOOL. idk if i should go tho cuz i am a partyy girl *&& it will distract the hell out of me.

TRUTH 4: i liek it when dudes talk about how pretty i am or shit like that. i mean, has anyone wondered why im so conceited? well that's why. bitches be like,' that girl think she da shit." no! i KNOW i am cuz ya man is tellin me in my ear. haha :) YUP.

TRUTH 5: i am wayytoo blunt wid people. haha. then when they hear it they get mad. like wtf. i mean, you want people to 'be 100' but when you get 110 you get mad. wtf. hell NO. i like being honest. it frees the soul. haha :)

TRUTH 6: sex is great. i know i said that im a sexual person but i had to admit that i love sex. i may not always outwardly show it but i do love it. some good ass sex can make the whole week better. haha. one thing i cant stand is a BAGGY MAGNUM. haha :)

okayyy! so i'll post later.

sex symbol? ha ha :)

so let me say so humbly when i write this, that in NO WAY have i made this a label for myself. i mean, i hear this from other people. i explained truths about myself. I AM A SEXUAL PERSON. does that make me a soon to be sex symbol? i don't think so. i'm open about my sexuality and in no way am i afraid to let anybody know what i am or what i like, but SEX SYMBOL? maybe if i become famous i could have the liberty of having this smacked on my name :) i like it.

i have a tongue ring. i might use it ; i might NOT. haha :) but just know its MY tongue ring *&& if i wanna lick a damn frozen pole wid that bitch i will. period. people expect me to act like a straight prostitute cuz im 'open' with my shit. OPEN doesn;t mean im all over you tryna catch a nut :) ha ha. it means if you ask you'll get an answer. thats me. i learned to be very honest and truthful wid my shit.

so when people say im a sex symbol i say, NOT YET. i mean, when you have sex and think of me or yo nigga accidently screams out my name cuz he was thinking bout me or people have myhalf naked picture on their wall...THAT'S when i'll be a sex symbol.


thnks fer the complement tho :)


[ill post again later]

so more truths ;;

TRUTH 1: i'm a naturally sexual person. i mean, some people are naturall talkers [im that too] or naturally pissy or what not. im like naturally sexual. i dont think its a problem, but you know there will be people who JUDGE, but you know what, i've learned to ignore those people. most people who judge others are just insecure with themselves.

TRUTH 2: i think im gonna become an alcoholic. i try my hardest to relieve myself with something else other than a drink or two or SIX, but alcohol is gooooood. i mean you got grey goose, and crown royal w/ coke, and HYPNOTIQ [ my personal favorite] . NEVER DRINK CANADIAN WHISKEY. i had a bad ass hang over form that!

TRUTH 3: i find personal satisfaction in destroying things of people who piss me off. it makes me feel like they are hurting as much as i am. pshycotic huh? i think everybody's a pill away from the PADDED ROOM.

i guess thats enough truths for todayy, im prolly freakinggg ppl out. haha. but im gonna leave yall with a scene from my favorite movie, WAITING TO EXHALE. this goes with truth 3. its when stella gets FED THE HELL UP nad burns that niggas shid. [he deserves it.]




her: " now wait a minut, i gave you eleven fcking years and you're telling me you're leaving me for a white woman?!"

him: " would it be better if she were black?"

her: "no, it'd be better if YOU were black!"


HAHA! my favorite movie.

the truth about my feelingss ;;

i'm hurt right now. by Drique, by Mike...shid, by every nigga that did me wrong. Tywaun's ass even popped up in my mind. I was with HIS ASS for three fckn years, and he gon leave me like that. in a *blink of a damn eye. what a surprise right. i give his ass everything....my first EVERYTHING *&& that nigg lickety splits like the rabbit in the Trix commercial.

And Drique was my fault ;; you reap what you sew. the part that pisses me off is the fact he thinks he can run backk and forth to me *&& his ugly ass babymama. NO. i actually love his ass, but i will not be used the way Tywaun used my ass. NO MORE.


*&& mike was dead wrong for what he did. period. he knows. no need to put his ass on blast, but he so called understood how i felt to be playd and promised he would NEVER. liar like the rest of them.

i really do get hurt like any other person. damn, so i guess im heartless now. they don't want me to be A HEARTLESS BITCH. i can be mothafckn ruthless if i wanna be.

they don't want it. NOBODY WANTS IT. shid, im managing my mothafckn anger as ppl continue to take my kindness for a WEAKNESS. hell no.

im so sickk *&& tired. i thought kindness was repaid wid good deeds! nope. we'll se how shid workks.


fck everybody who's hurt me.

so basically ;;

school is fckn boringg. i wanna go somewhere else, but guess what?? NO GAS. like wtf. so imma hit up ma dukes when i get home.

i NEED a job really bad. i haven't weent all out shopping since the summer. its badd. i have this thing for boots and i need some new ones....DAMN.
but i've applied at an ass of places, so we'll see.

so yeaa, im talkingg to this dude on the phone who lives in flo-rida :) and he cool as hell. he funny, but i dont do long distance shit. i needa see yo ass often. lol. but he cool to talk to in between time. +&& he jamaican. yummy :)

i love NIGGAS ;; but they just wont do right. cheat && lie ;; lie && cheat. ridiculous. i also fckn love NICKI MINAJ ;; she's so0 fckn FIERCE :) lol. usingg adam's words! lol.

but gotta bounce honey.

ugh ;; wtf ever, man.

see you may not believe me when i say this, but i am a liar-- but i only lie to protect people's feelings and ideas of me, and i really need to stop doingg that shit.

my mama doesnt understand that i ONLY lie to her about shit i know she would jump to conclusions and shit about. nothingg else. i would never tell her im goingg over a niggas house to chill, why? cuz in her mind that means sex. i mean, she already knows i'm not a virgin, but i don't think she really wants to face the fact i'm actually ACTIVE. period. i'm on the pill and i dont go bare but she doesnt thinkk like that.

everytime i say somethingg about something i had to previously hide from her ass, she thinkss im lying. im not. its crazyy. i just cant even find a median with her anymoree. we either fightingg or cool. and its usually fighting. over lil petty shit she consideres a bigg ass deal.

im a prett laid back individual. shit that doesnt need to be blown up shouldnt get blown up. im a easy breezer, but she makes me this BITCH that i dont wanna be. she just knows just what to sayy to piss me off. she's very JUDGEMENTAL. i hate ppl who thinkk thay can judge someone else. i HATE beingg judges. we're liket ottal opposites....UGH.

its hard. fck it.


COUNTDOWN TILL GRADUATION: 6 months ;; 14 dayss

omg ; new fetish :)

so you know i love fashion :)

i found a website that has some stylishh stuff for CHEAP. you know im el cheapo when it comes to buying clothes tho. but any ways i got a COUPLE of sites for yall :

www.cutesygirl.com

www.mandee.com

www.chickstar.com

www.forever21.com

www.15dollarstore.com

www.tillys.com

www.gojane.com

www.badassjewelry.com



*hope you enjoyy these sights. amazingg deals!

yes we can :)

so0o0. im sure all the other blogs are talking about it! OBAMA WON. of course everyone knew it would happen, but i aint wanna say it and jinx the whole thing. its amazing to see this in my lifetime. God has a plan for him, i know it. people say he'll be assassinated or shit like that, but i dont believe that will happen. it's IGNORANCE. pure ignorance. i hate it. well, im happy either wayy. tryingg not to put my hands on certain people at my school...but i'll try to contain myself.

OBAMA

OBAMA

OBAMA

OBAMA :)
*you wanna know three reasons i support him [other than his race]?
-i'm pro choice.
-i DO BELIEVE we should have a universal healthcare system for all americans
-i'm against the war, and i believe our troops need to come home. i support the troops, not the war.

wanna find some more reasons YOU may agree with obama? checkk out this site:
http://www.ontheissues.org/Barack_Obama.htm


QUOTE OF THE DAY: ignorance is a sign of low intellegence ; when one learns one can then lose ignorance.

single againn ; changingg ; life ; randomness :)

me and mike are OVER. i'm happy about ti too. i know that one blog i was infatuated, but i was bored. haha :) funny huh? yup i thought so too :))

anyways! i'm on the hunt for a job, we'll see how far i get this time. lol. people need to hire my crazyy ass. dude, i'm so much fun....i guess thats why i dont have a j o b now, cuz i like to have free days to do anythingg i wanna. but whatever, life goes on.

soo0o tomorrow is the election and i honestly think that my man O B A M A is gonna win. NO DOUbT. lol. he'd be a great president. i know people question his experience and everything, but you can't get experience without jumping into something, ya know. his policies and how he thinks amazes me and i am behind him 1000% :)

i feel more neo-soul today. its weird. im all earthy and shit, i'd rather be by myself and chill. TRUE.

ready to get the fuck outta high school. ugh, im tired of classes and shit, with all these people i don;t wanna see. urgh.

ughhh....if john mccain is elected, i swear im movingg to fckn CANADA. shit, then he gonna die and that dumb hoe is gonna be president...president LEWENSKY we should call her.

urggh.

but i'm happy, single, and laughingg at the lames.

QUOTE OF THE DAY: "shit happens. take a laxative and move the fck on."

a quote i live by.

i AM the [EPITOME] of greatness. i posses the likeness & attention of those you can only dream of possesing. I AM one of the MANY FEW, whom understand the power and greatness of a woman, & use it to my EVERY advantage. you despise my EVERY existence, yet you can't help but want to do things similar to how i do them. Replacing you in my list of friends is EXTREMELY easy. On a good day you can NEVER be me. My bitterness-VICIOUS, my attitude-RUTHLESS. it's completely and morally safe for me to say: YOUR EMOTIONS, AND FEELINGS MEAN ABSOLUTELY NOTHING TO ME. it personally THRILLS me that you steal my ideas. Me and life have had our shares of disputes, yet i'm STILL here. i LOVE that you constantly check on me by checking my page. Strength and experience come hand in hand in my world. Patience; non-existing in MY mind. I'm blind to you..[ HATERS ]* not even with bi-focals can u spot me or my level of GREAT-NESS I SET the bar HIGH on game. YES i am a bitch, so attempting that as an insult WILL NOT offend me. catch me out of spite? you MIGHT JUST commit suicide.

a quote i live by.

i AM the [EPITOME] of greatness. i posses the likeness & attention of those you can only dream of possesing. I AM one of the MANY FEW, whom understand the power and greatness of a woman, & use it to my EVERY advantage. you despise my EVERY existence, yet you can't help but want to do things similar to how i do them. Replacing you in my list of friends is EXTREMELY easy. On a good day you can NEVER be me. My bitterness-VICIOUS, my attitude-RUTHLESS. it's completely and morally safe for me to say: YOUR EMOTIONS, AND FEELINGS MEAN ABSOLUTELY NOTHING TO ME. it personally THRILLS me that you steal my ideas. Me and life have had our shares of disputes, yet i'm STILL here. i LOVE that you constantly check on me by checking my page. Strength and experience come hand in hand in my world. Patience; non-existing in MY mind. I'm blind to you..[ HATERS ]* not even with bi-focals can u spot me or my level of GREAT-NESS I SET the bar HIGH on game. YES i am a bitch, so attempting that as an insult WILL NOT offend me. catch me out of spite? you MIGHT JUST commit suicide.