Tuesday, October 27, 2009
Wednesday, October 21, 2009
stingy about my life .
so luvendo is amazing . we spend a lot of time together, but we had a discussion last night about making it official, and for the first time--im not the one thats not ready....wow . i have to respect his honesty, but im not going to lie and say that im not a tad bit hurt by it, because i wouldnt do anything to hurt him . i mean, its been a month and i cnt believe how close we are . haha . arguing like a old married couple...i can see us being that, but he doesnt like to talkk about possbilities bc he doesnt want it to fall apart and it never happes...i guess i understand where he's coming from...
but today, we had one of the realest conversations......about having children . it was me, him, and his best friend henry . and all of us admitted to wanting a child now to see what it would be like, but we also agreed we werent ready . i based my readiness on selfishness...because im always on the go and a child would end that . henry based his on the fact that he wanted to get his party on before all that happened...haha . but to my deep surprise luvendo based his on sincere love . he said he didnt need a child right now because he could be the best father with his feet more stably on the ground...he also said that he didnt want to deprive his child or children bc he was . this simple explanation mad me look at him totally differently....
i wont lie and say the whole time e've been spending time i've never thought about having children with him, because i do that with every male i've been with...but when i thought about it regarding him, i thought about it more than just how my child would look or superficial entities...i actually thought about how his parenting would affect the child...and if God crossed or paths to have a child then i'd gladly fufill destiny.
im not jumping to conclusions too soon, im just sayn. God sent him for a reason-- and my curiosity wants to know why .
-essence .
but today, we had one of the realest conversations......about having children . it was me, him, and his best friend henry . and all of us admitted to wanting a child now to see what it would be like, but we also agreed we werent ready . i based my readiness on selfishness...because im always on the go and a child would end that . henry based his on the fact that he wanted to get his party on before all that happened...haha . but to my deep surprise luvendo based his on sincere love . he said he didnt need a child right now because he could be the best father with his feet more stably on the ground...he also said that he didnt want to deprive his child or children bc he was . this simple explanation mad me look at him totally differently....
i wont lie and say the whole time e've been spending time i've never thought about having children with him, because i do that with every male i've been with...but when i thought about it regarding him, i thought about it more than just how my child would look or superficial entities...i actually thought about how his parenting would affect the child...and if God crossed or paths to have a child then i'd gladly fufill destiny.
im not jumping to conclusions too soon, im just sayn. God sent him for a reason-- and my curiosity wants to know why .
-essence .
Sunday, October 4, 2009
luvendo .
i met this guy...now how many times have i started a post like this.....lets switch it up...
SO I MET AMAZING and i feel like he's extra special. i dnt really know how God expects us to know who is the ONE for us, but i feel like this is it and genuinely he is NOT like ANY other man i've met . i call him a man bc he definitely act like one . haha :) keeps me smiling and i LOOOOVE his mommy . she's absolutely adorable .
see, at first i wasnt write about him till it got like amonth in, but after meeting his lovely mother last night, i HAVE to . yes, his name is LUVENDO and i have never met ANYONE named luvendo . weird as it seems, i love his name, and i think he's the one .
the ONE . just bc i think he's the one doesnt mean he is . i mean, the signs of me being able to marry this man are PREVALENT . we've spent nights together--sexless nighta that were all the while AHH-MAZING . so, i can definitely see our future together. my conscience isnt dirty and i feel like i have a blessing in disguise with him . idk.
only time will tell :-)
essence .
SO I MET AMAZING and i feel like he's extra special. i dnt really know how God expects us to know who is the ONE for us, but i feel like this is it and genuinely he is NOT like ANY other man i've met . i call him a man bc he definitely act like one . haha :) keeps me smiling and i LOOOOVE his mommy . she's absolutely adorable .
see, at first i wasnt write about him till it got like amonth in, but after meeting his lovely mother last night, i HAVE to . yes, his name is LUVENDO and i have never met ANYONE named luvendo . weird as it seems, i love his name, and i think he's the one .
the ONE . just bc i think he's the one doesnt mean he is . i mean, the signs of me being able to marry this man are PREVALENT . we've spent nights together--sexless nighta that were all the while AHH-MAZING . so, i can definitely see our future together. my conscience isnt dirty and i feel like i have a blessing in disguise with him . idk.
only time will tell :-)
essence .
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)
