the fight ;; everything you might question ;;

okayy, so scratch the bullshit you heard about it...everything else is rumor. im the source && this is what thee source has to sayy:

yes, i lost the fight. great. if that makes the haters feel better then, you're sad. for one, i was pissy ass drunk...i dnt even know the reason behimd the fight. i do believe it was a set up && congrats to all those who caught me slippingg cuz karma always works her maic. trust that...drinkingg that much was my fault...my gaurd was down...so yes. losing was the result. too bad. count my blessings and move thee hell on. it was what it was && it will be what it will be. trust one thing, all those people who participated && even talked about it &7 posted that shit all over their page HAVE NEVER had thee fckn balls to come at me like that any other dayy. i guess people figure since they caight me in a weak moment im always like that. SIKE. i will state this plainly and as kindly as possible. i AM NOT & WILL NEVER BE weak in anyway...no matter how drunk i am or how vulnerable i feel. nobody knows my struggle or what thee fck i have been thru but ME. judge it, talk about it, but you will never live my life. && just because i lost a fight dont mean i wont && cant whoop your ass. period.
i wrote this for all the people who were wonderinggg && askingg. three facts about the fight you should know by the end of this: 1)i was drunk...pissy drunk. 2) i got jumped. 3) aint NOBODY being real about the situation.


so shoutouts to the people who have had my backk thru the whole thing && for those who didn't....yall can kiss my ass :)

essence.

HAITUS.

dnt wanna write...my life is just ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh right now. so yeaa.

miss conceited love nicki minaj :)

i love her && i figured i oughta show yall whyy....

some vids....she's sexyy...she's a freakk...she dnt give 2 fcks bout thee haters....

playtime is over bxtchs...hahaha :)

yesyesss....so i love her... i leave you wid this freakyyy song...hahaha:)

ello :)

hat to sayy ello not hello like i'm from UK or some shidd. hahaha. just came from the mall && the flea market wid bella && i had a gooooooood time. haha.

made videos there and everything. i posted it on myspace or what not, so add me:) www.myspace.com/dat_morena_mamii clickable :)

anywoo, i love havingg fun, yo. and now that christmas break is upon us, i plan on actingg a str8 damn fool.....yes! party after partyy and hangover after hangover....tatoo planned too!
here's what i want, && here's what i'll prolly get...


*prolly not on thee fot...iono...&& this is what i'll prolly get


:)))) stars!


so thats it for now :)

post later.

relaxer vs. natural :)

soo, i ben thinkingg about my hair lately && tryna figure out whether i should stay natural or go backk to the relaxer. ughh. its a hard decision, cuz you know i dont wanna mess up my damn wave patter that my mama so graciously blessed me with :) . but you know, i also wannahave my hair managable cuz i start college in the summer && i dont wanna have to fight my hair everydayy. ughh. but i gotta look up both argments && figure out which would be best for me.

i love relaxers cuz it keeps my hair in checkk but ssome relaxers mess up my wave pattern (not all) , but when i'm natural, i know my hair is HEALTHY && i just want healthy AND managable hair....


anybodyy got some ideas, tell me.

post later :)

well hello :)

so basically, i fckn love nicki minaj :) she's a freakk...yupyup. ppl say this && that bout her but she amazingg. fck wtf anybodyy gotta say. haha :) veryy freaky girl....like i said...imma sexual person ;) && aint NOTHING wring wid some good sex. yup yup.

think what you wanna but as longg as you safe then hell, dick is thee shid. haha.

ANYWAYS, lately i been thinking about getting my lip peircedd. :) so if you aint know i alredayy got my tongue pierced...so i want the lip piercing to be less obvious...ya know, prolly like a small monroe or a small half snake bite...iono. IF ANYBOY KNOW SOMETHING THATS CUTE TELL ME.

so basically, over christmas break i plan on getting a tatt of a lotus flower or descending stars :)
lotus fror growing up and growing into myself as a ladyy && the stars bc i think they're beautiful...like me :)

haha. post later.

in ISS [in school suspension]

so im in here...ISS. this website ain't blocked so i guess im gonna post from school everyday since my damnn computer aint workingg.

so basically, im bored off my ass && its random time :) :

*why in the hell everytime you get on myspace, somebody has a new 'codename' or some shit...imean your name doesnt get you noticed on myspace if you change that shit all the time....one bitch on mylist change her name everyweek...bipolar ass....

*so i figured out some niggas are actually genuine. they actually love you and they actuallt can prove it...[michael lamar story].

*hoes who act like hoes are 100%FAKE. i don't mean hoe [fucks everybody]- i mean hoe[ dumbass broad who think she cute.]...ya digg. so fake. they claim they got this and that and can work magic and spend thismoney and that money...when they cant do SHIT.... period.

*mysterious niggas are what turn me on cuz there's somethingg there you wanna know, but you know he aint gonna tell you, but you try to get to know him and find out anyways...yummy.

*i need to get my car checked out cuz it wouldn't start in the morning 2 times this week.

*weed always makes you feel amazingg after you smoke it...especially when you had a strassful ass week && mama trippin.

*okay, im runnin out of shit...


ill post later :)

catchh up ;; my life as of now.

so... let me tell you A LOT has happened in the last week! me and mike...backk together. turns out it was something that needed to resolve that he had to resolve with hisself and had to do it alone. i respect he came to me like a man so thats all imma say bout it.

thanksgiving wasnt as pleasurable as i hoped it would be. the food was amazing cuz we went to my mama's boyfriend's family's house and my step aunt can cook forreal. it was amazing, but i got a stomach ache after eating so damn much so i had lay my ass down for the rest of the night. usually i partyyyy hard when i go down there wid my step cousin Retha, but shes preggo so we really aint do shit.

looking for a job so hard i cant even tell you how many applications i have fillled out. man, this shit out here is kinda tough. recession is upon us when even micky dees aint hiring like that no more. its sad but it is what it is....

so im still kinda leaving my options open even tho me and mike are still together cuz i refuse to let any nigga let me feel all lost and confused and hurt like that again....ALWAYS have a back up plan, ye digg :)

so basically life is OKAY.

ill post later.

okay so.

life is pretty mch amazing. im kinda diggin this new dude that DANGEROUSLY appeared in my life and the task of getting my grades up wasnt hard either. i mean i just gotta stop being lazy or what not.

yupyup. spending Thanksgiving here and then going to Alabam wid my mama to check on our old house. you know im gonna partyy wid some of my friends. PART PARTY PARTY. im excited...

but other than that just tryna live my life to the fullest. too many people dying young.

adios.

ughh ; life.

so basically my grade suck. i HAVE to get them thangs UP.... cuz i refuse to be like some of the people at our schoool, 19 && still aint graduate. like wtf. i will not be. so i need to work on that.


todays chad's funeral. i want to be happy he's ina better place, but i know i'm gonna cry like hell. usually im the one who comforts everyone else, but it s crazyy seeing someone younger than you ina casket. i mean my day could be coming. you never know.


on a ahappier note, my green room is finally fixed backk up. my mama kicked me out of it cuz she said it was a 'priveledge' and when i moved out i lost that privlege. oh, and for those who dont know, my green room is the loft over the garage and i painted it green and turned it into my bedroom. i got a couch, a futon, and my queen size bed in that bii, it's pretty large ! lol...

so right now im still on that FUCK A NIGGA shit. like aint no nigga prove me wrong about how niggas be so i guess i'm stickingg to it. TIRED of getting my heart broken and hurt *&& shitt. i'm a SINGLE LAYDEE for now....until i'm proved wrong.

being productive *&& having fun.

well...chad's death has made me realize i nee to de-clutter my life man. i mean everyday aint promised and i wanna be able to live to the fullest and stope having so much shit built up within my soul and everything else.

so...i am...
*making my diet stricter

*keeping my room clean

*keeping the real ones close

* and pouring my heart to yall in this blog because this may be my living testament.


so my best advice to yall is to do the same

* * *

anyways, tomorrow is the greenbrier vs lakeside game. im going wid bella and we gonna wild out like ALWAYS. then saturday theres a few parties i might hit up.

thats it.


post tomorro :)

alone.

i've figured out this world is a fckn lie.

*dont trust a damn soul but the people you knwo would cherish your soul if you had nothing.

*be happy wid yourself.

shiiiid, i can give shit less what anybody says or thinks about me. the people who judge thee most have the LOWEST self esteem.


adios.

life.

its crazyy. its like everytime i turn around another young person i know dies. R.I.P. CHAD WILLIAMS. man. me and him aint end on good terms but he was a cool ass dude when i was cool wit him.

shit, i think about the crazyy times we had and i feel bad cz we never reconciled out shit. we just let it ride. ughh. i feel horrible. i mean, i wanna cherish every moment cuz i know tomorro is definitely not promised and its crazy to think that in a blink of an eye you GONE. :(

dude, i'm going to his funeral or what not. its hard man, cuz people always leave before you could apologize or they could apologize or a truce can be made.

CHERISH LIFE, i will.

so, whats in store ;;

i fckn fell in love wid georgia southern. so THATS WHERE I'M GOING. super fckn excited dude. mannnnn, the dorms i wanna stay in are so hawt. they actually have FULL SIZED BEDS. anyone who alreadyy down there lets talkk cuz i dnt wanna come down there in june clueless as a mug, ya digg.

*&&+ i like have big brothers or sisters to guide me. especially since imma be on my own again *&& shii. i love statesboro. especially for college. i know it's a 'party college' but i think i'll fit in well. so HERES MY PLANS FER COLLEGE: =]

1] GET THERE. i have to go to EIP during the summer so i 'll be able to get accquainted in the summer and meet new people and earn 8 credits.

2] MINGLE. im a people person and i digg meeting new people. shit, i want a roomate i dnt know so i can expand, ya digg.

3] KEEP THE GRADES UP. i dont wanna get there then drop out cuz of too much partying. i wanna go *&& stay and graduate.

4]EXPAND. i wanna build new relationships and have some fun and try new shit, and what not :)


SO I'M EXCITED. yupyup..leave me something people.

playingg the field :) *&& some more truths :))

i have ecided to play the field. its actually pretty fun. i see why niggas fo it so much :). dudes have so mmuch fun textingg liek 5 girls at once. i see how its fun. its funny to see how niggs tryy to spit game while im plaingg them. haha. thats funny. NIGGS ARE A TRIP.

might go out to eat wid tiff *&& demetria tonight. idk yet wether im gonna need the extrasleep or not. Tomorrow i'm goign to open house at georgia southern. im excited :) yupyup. PARTY SCHOOL. idk if i should go tho cuz i am a partyy girl *&& it will distract the hell out of me.

TRUTH 4: i liek it when dudes talk about how pretty i am or shit like that. i mean, has anyone wondered why im so conceited? well that's why. bitches be like,' that girl think she da shit." no! i KNOW i am cuz ya man is tellin me in my ear. haha :) YUP.

TRUTH 5: i am wayytoo blunt wid people. haha. then when they hear it they get mad. like wtf. i mean, you want people to 'be 100' but when you get 110 you get mad. wtf. hell NO. i like being honest. it frees the soul. haha :)

TRUTH 6: sex is great. i know i said that im a sexual person but i had to admit that i love sex. i may not always outwardly show it but i do love it. some good ass sex can make the whole week better. haha. one thing i cant stand is a BAGGY MAGNUM. haha :)

okayyy! so i'll post later.

sex symbol? ha ha :)

so let me say so humbly when i write this, that in NO WAY have i made this a label for myself. i mean, i hear this from other people. i explained truths about myself. I AM A SEXUAL PERSON. does that make me a soon to be sex symbol? i don't think so. i'm open about my sexuality and in no way am i afraid to let anybody know what i am or what i like, but SEX SYMBOL? maybe if i become famous i could have the liberty of having this smacked on my name :) i like it.

i have a tongue ring. i might use it ; i might NOT. haha :) but just know its MY tongue ring *&& if i wanna lick a damn frozen pole wid that bitch i will. period. people expect me to act like a straight prostitute cuz im 'open' with my shit. OPEN doesn;t mean im all over you tryna catch a nut :) ha ha. it means if you ask you'll get an answer. thats me. i learned to be very honest and truthful wid my shit.

so when people say im a sex symbol i say, NOT YET. i mean, when you have sex and think of me or yo nigga accidently screams out my name cuz he was thinking bout me or people have myhalf naked picture on their wall...THAT'S when i'll be a sex symbol.


thnks fer the complement tho :)


[ill post again later]

so more truths ;;

TRUTH 1: i'm a naturally sexual person. i mean, some people are naturall talkers [im that too] or naturally pissy or what not. im like naturally sexual. i dont think its a problem, but you know there will be people who JUDGE, but you know what, i've learned to ignore those people. most people who judge others are just insecure with themselves.

TRUTH 2: i think im gonna become an alcoholic. i try my hardest to relieve myself with something else other than a drink or two or SIX, but alcohol is gooooood. i mean you got grey goose, and crown royal w/ coke, and HYPNOTIQ [ my personal favorite] . NEVER DRINK CANADIAN WHISKEY. i had a bad ass hang over form that!

TRUTH 3: i find personal satisfaction in destroying things of people who piss me off. it makes me feel like they are hurting as much as i am. pshycotic huh? i think everybody's a pill away from the PADDED ROOM.

i guess thats enough truths for todayy, im prolly freakinggg ppl out. haha. but im gonna leave yall with a scene from my favorite movie, WAITING TO EXHALE. this goes with truth 3. its when stella gets FED THE HELL UP nad burns that niggas shid. [he deserves it.]




her: " now wait a minut, i gave you eleven fcking years and you're telling me you're leaving me for a white woman?!"

him: " would it be better if she were black?"

her: "no, it'd be better if YOU were black!"


HAHA! my favorite movie.

the truth about my feelingss ;;

i'm hurt right now. by Drique, by Mike...shid, by every nigga that did me wrong. Tywaun's ass even popped up in my mind. I was with HIS ASS for three fckn years, and he gon leave me like that. in a *blink of a damn eye. what a surprise right. i give his ass everything....my first EVERYTHING *&& that nigg lickety splits like the rabbit in the Trix commercial.

And Drique was my fault ;; you reap what you sew. the part that pisses me off is the fact he thinks he can run backk and forth to me *&& his ugly ass babymama. NO. i actually love his ass, but i will not be used the way Tywaun used my ass. NO MORE.


*&& mike was dead wrong for what he did. period. he knows. no need to put his ass on blast, but he so called understood how i felt to be playd and promised he would NEVER. liar like the rest of them.

i really do get hurt like any other person. damn, so i guess im heartless now. they don't want me to be A HEARTLESS BITCH. i can be mothafckn ruthless if i wanna be.

they don't want it. NOBODY WANTS IT. shid, im managing my mothafckn anger as ppl continue to take my kindness for a WEAKNESS. hell no.

im so sickk *&& tired. i thought kindness was repaid wid good deeds! nope. we'll se how shid workks.


fck everybody who's hurt me.

so basically ;;

school is fckn boringg. i wanna go somewhere else, but guess what?? NO GAS. like wtf. so imma hit up ma dukes when i get home.

i NEED a job really bad. i haven't weent all out shopping since the summer. its badd. i have this thing for boots and i need some new ones....DAMN.
but i've applied at an ass of places, so we'll see.

so yeaa, im talkingg to this dude on the phone who lives in flo-rida :) and he cool as hell. he funny, but i dont do long distance shit. i needa see yo ass often. lol. but he cool to talk to in between time. +&& he jamaican. yummy :)

i love NIGGAS ;; but they just wont do right. cheat && lie ;; lie && cheat. ridiculous. i also fckn love NICKI MINAJ ;; she's so0 fckn FIERCE :) lol. usingg adam's words! lol.

but gotta bounce honey.

ugh ;; wtf ever, man.

see you may not believe me when i say this, but i am a liar-- but i only lie to protect people's feelings and ideas of me, and i really need to stop doingg that shit.

my mama doesnt understand that i ONLY lie to her about shit i know she would jump to conclusions and shit about. nothingg else. i would never tell her im goingg over a niggas house to chill, why? cuz in her mind that means sex. i mean, she already knows i'm not a virgin, but i don't think she really wants to face the fact i'm actually ACTIVE. period. i'm on the pill and i dont go bare but she doesnt thinkk like that.

everytime i say somethingg about something i had to previously hide from her ass, she thinkss im lying. im not. its crazyy. i just cant even find a median with her anymoree. we either fightingg or cool. and its usually fighting. over lil petty shit she consideres a bigg ass deal.

im a prett laid back individual. shit that doesnt need to be blown up shouldnt get blown up. im a easy breezer, but she makes me this BITCH that i dont wanna be. she just knows just what to sayy to piss me off. she's very JUDGEMENTAL. i hate ppl who thinkk thay can judge someone else. i HATE beingg judges. we're liket ottal opposites....UGH.

its hard. fck it.


COUNTDOWN TILL GRADUATION: 6 months ;; 14 dayss

omg ; new fetish :)

so you know i love fashion :)

i found a website that has some stylishh stuff for CHEAP. you know im el cheapo when it comes to buying clothes tho. but any ways i got a COUPLE of sites for yall :

www.cutesygirl.com

www.mandee.com

www.chickstar.com

www.forever21.com

www.15dollarstore.com

www.tillys.com

www.gojane.com

www.badassjewelry.com



*hope you enjoyy these sights. amazingg deals!

yes we can :)

so0o0. im sure all the other blogs are talking about it! OBAMA WON. of course everyone knew it would happen, but i aint wanna say it and jinx the whole thing. its amazing to see this in my lifetime. God has a plan for him, i know it. people say he'll be assassinated or shit like that, but i dont believe that will happen. it's IGNORANCE. pure ignorance. i hate it. well, im happy either wayy. tryingg not to put my hands on certain people at my school...but i'll try to contain myself.

OBAMA

OBAMA

OBAMA

OBAMA :)
*you wanna know three reasons i support him [other than his race]?
-i'm pro choice.
-i DO BELIEVE we should have a universal healthcare system for all americans
-i'm against the war, and i believe our troops need to come home. i support the troops, not the war.

wanna find some more reasons YOU may agree with obama? checkk out this site:
http://www.ontheissues.org/Barack_Obama.htm


QUOTE OF THE DAY: ignorance is a sign of low intellegence ; when one learns one can then lose ignorance.

single againn ; changingg ; life ; randomness :)

me and mike are OVER. i'm happy about ti too. i know that one blog i was infatuated, but i was bored. haha :) funny huh? yup i thought so too :))

anyways! i'm on the hunt for a job, we'll see how far i get this time. lol. people need to hire my crazyy ass. dude, i'm so much fun....i guess thats why i dont have a j o b now, cuz i like to have free days to do anythingg i wanna. but whatever, life goes on.

soo0o tomorrow is the election and i honestly think that my man O B A M A is gonna win. NO DOUbT. lol. he'd be a great president. i know people question his experience and everything, but you can't get experience without jumping into something, ya know. his policies and how he thinks amazes me and i am behind him 1000% :)

i feel more neo-soul today. its weird. im all earthy and shit, i'd rather be by myself and chill. TRUE.

ready to get the fuck outta high school. ugh, im tired of classes and shit, with all these people i don;t wanna see. urgh.

ughhh....if john mccain is elected, i swear im movingg to fckn CANADA. shit, then he gonna die and that dumb hoe is gonna be president...president LEWENSKY we should call her.

urggh.

but i'm happy, single, and laughingg at the lames.

QUOTE OF THE DAY: "shit happens. take a laxative and move the fck on."

a quote i live by.

i AM the [EPITOME] of greatness. i posses the likeness & attention of those you can only dream of possesing. I AM one of the MANY FEW, whom understand the power and greatness of a woman, & use it to my EVERY advantage. you despise my EVERY existence, yet you can't help but want to do things similar to how i do them. Replacing you in my list of friends is EXTREMELY easy. On a good day you can NEVER be me. My bitterness-VICIOUS, my attitude-RUTHLESS. it's completely and morally safe for me to say: YOUR EMOTIONS, AND FEELINGS MEAN ABSOLUTELY NOTHING TO ME. it personally THRILLS me that you steal my ideas. Me and life have had our shares of disputes, yet i'm STILL here. i LOVE that you constantly check on me by checking my page. Strength and experience come hand in hand in my world. Patience; non-existing in MY mind. I'm blind to you..[ HATERS ]* not even with bi-focals can u spot me or my level of GREAT-NESS I SET the bar HIGH on game. YES i am a bitch, so attempting that as an insult WILL NOT offend me. catch me out of spite? you MIGHT JUST commit suicide.

a quote i live by.

i AM the [EPITOME] of greatness. i posses the likeness & attention of those you can only dream of possesing. I AM one of the MANY FEW, whom understand the power and greatness of a woman, & use it to my EVERY advantage. you despise my EVERY existence, yet you can't help but want to do things similar to how i do them. Replacing you in my list of friends is EXTREMELY easy. On a good day you can NEVER be me. My bitterness-VICIOUS, my attitude-RUTHLESS. it's completely and morally safe for me to say: YOUR EMOTIONS, AND FEELINGS MEAN ABSOLUTELY NOTHING TO ME. it personally THRILLS me that you steal my ideas. Me and life have had our shares of disputes, yet i'm STILL here. i LOVE that you constantly check on me by checking my page. Strength and experience come hand in hand in my world. Patience; non-existing in MY mind. I'm blind to you..[ HATERS ]* not even with bi-focals can u spot me or my level of GREAT-NESS I SET the bar HIGH on game. YES i am a bitch, so attempting that as an insult WILL NOT offend me. catch me out of spite? you MIGHT JUST commit suicide.

random ; life ; funyy :)

so lets start with funny. people be hating on unforgivable, but this shit is hilarious. this nigga is too bipolar. :)

so i was wondering ; what is swagg? to many hoes && nigas got it nowadays. i mean, half the people with "swagg" have a 100 dollar budget when shopping. like wtf.

FACT: my car is fixed and i got that shid backk :)) [my happy ass]

ANOTHER FACT: i'm getting kindaa popular on myspace. i iono why, but i don't really care. 15 friend requests a day is alright.

me and mike made up. i saw his ass today, looking as cute as he wanna. :) you be the judge.

thats my babe

♥

anywayyssssssssss......hoes are haters. not that i just realized this shit, its just that girls be staringg me up in down wondering, 'why is she so amazing?' you want the truth??? I'M MYSELF AND IM OKAYY WITH BEING DIFFERENT. fuck a crowd. i'll shoot all them mothafuckas :) lmao. just kidding.

so finally.....

QUOTE OF THE DAY: people are going to always try to outsmart you and outdo you in life, so don't just be the shit, be the shit AND the pee:)

its so frustrating;*

how boys can listen to their dumb ass friends who tell them old shit about you. shit that happened a year before and shit. ughhh. that pisses me off so bad. Mike's lil friend tells him about all this shit that happened last year and Mike brings it up but then doesn't wanna talk about it cuz "it'll start an argument". HELL YES IT WILL.
wtf does he expect me to do? sit there and admit that i used to be a very sad person with self esteem issues that did a lot of things for attention from ANYBODY. i used to be that peron his friend keeps telling him about and i DID DO all those things. it's liek no matter what life will never go on.
i'm so sickk of it and whenever Mike does bring that shit up like that, the rest of our lil conversation is completely ruined. i mean COMPLETELY RUINED. ;(
i'm tired of contemplating on the PAST. i am a different person than i used to be. i love Mike. i wish he would realize the present and hope for the future.

ughhh.

QUOTE OF THE DAY: i'm me;;*i'm what GOD has created me to be.what my mama raised me to be.what the the streets built me to be.and what the haters thought i would never be.nothing more, nothing less.

mike :)

okayy, so i went over mike's house yesterdayy :)

amazing. falling for him i guess. haha :). so i know the fair wasnt as great as i wanted it to be but i guess i was just expecting too much to happen at one time. mikle is a sweetie pie. i mean, like a boyfriend should, you know?
all the niggas i been wid been too "hood". i guess i was so used to a nigga treatingg me a certain wayy, that when i met a sweetie, i wouldn't appreciate. i do now. mike sends me a good morning text EVERY MORNING. not when he feels like it. calls me everynight- finally :). and when me and him walk, we hold hand like we should. i'm happy wid him. he's great.
so i figure i can be ith him for a while. he's cool. and today was our ONE MONTH. so i guess its going great so far.

:)
QUOTE OF THE DAY: "he best thing you can do is find a person who loves you for exactly what you are. Good mood, bad mood, ugly, pretty, handsome, what have you, the right person will still think the sun shines out your ass. That's the kind of person that's worth sticking with." -juno.

the fair.

well, where should i begin?

the beginning was wayyyyy better than the end. i went iwd tiff && mechie and it was all goody smokingg a black on the wayy over there && tiffs homegirl was SUPPOSED to bring a blunt so we could burn one...never happened. ANYWAYSS, i aint let that get me down. got on a couple rides wid mechie and tiff && had S0 MUCH FUN.
then...mike was supposed to meet me so we could chill and have bf/gf time or what not....NOPE. his ass ain't get there till like 9:30, then he couldn't follow directions of where to go. UGH. it angered me. then tiff && mechie couldn't wait fer nobody, so my ass got pissed and just had to walk that shid off. like wtf. could my night get any better.
so towards the end...MIKE SHOWS UP. its like ten minuted b4 i leave and here he is. so i figure, try not to get mad and get on the ferris wheel wid your boo :)....uh huh >:( .
we get on the ferris wheel. we cuddlingg and what not and we get off && he walks me to the gate. ughhhhhhhhh.....like i tried not to take shid he said too seriously, but i couldn't help but get agitated. if ya gf is caking wit you, you don't fckn pickle her. so then when we standing at the exit, this nigga LISTENING TO HIS DAMN MP3. ughhhhhhh.

so i have weird feelings about the night. i got on only like 5 rides, no kisss goodnight from my bf, NO BLUNT, and just FRUSTRATION.

ugghhh.

QUOTE OF THE DAY: people can make you feel like you're a box, so when you break out of your box- burn theirs.

kids getting TOO grown:*

i watched this video and vowed i would beat my child if they did anything like this. wtf. i mean they look about 5 dancing like they fckn or sumthing. and the worst part is, the crowd is pumping that shit up! NO! WE MUST DO BETTER. its ridiculuous, and people wonder why we have mothers at 14 and why the teenage pregnancy rate is so high. parents should teach their children better and want them to do better.

i was on myspace today like i am everyday, and i see statusesby 15 year olds talking about being "on they grown woman". bitch please. from experience, it's hard out there paying your way and living on your own. its freedom, yea, but it also comes at a high cost. shit, i appreciate free rent, cuz i've had to pay mine before.

QUOTE OF THE DAY: the grass is always greener on the other side until you're on the other side.

ha ha :)

that video is fckn hilarious. i had top post it cuz i watched it like 20 times this morning. lmao.

i'll post later.

well well well;*

my mama is on trip mode ONCE AGAIN. on some lazyy shit. talking bout i'm TOO lazyy. wtf. i'm a teenage girl! i'm kinda supposed to be lazyy...shit, she make it seem like i don't do NOTHING. i do. i clean my room...when it's needed. i wash my clothes...when i run out. and i do what i need to do to survive. damn. i'm not no muthafuckin house wife....so i ain't gotta cook all the damn time. she expect me to come home and cook. i cook for MYSELF when i'm hungry..ugh. wtf. my mama on some other shit. i'm STILL going to the fair saturday tho.

then, mike on some shittttttttt.......ugh. i like my boyfriends to CALL ME everynight. i don't wanna have to call him, and then when we get into a good convo his ass gotta call me backk....but NEVER does. ugh, annoying.

so yea, i can't go to the fair with mike friday, && i'm going saturday with my homegirl Tiff- i KNOW i'm gonna bump into Mike.....ugh, anyways. i guess i'm just one annoyed bitch today.

QUOTE OF THE DAY: "You have absolutely no right to judge someone with so many problems; how dare you throw rocks when you live in a glass house." -Unknown.



:)

well well well

oh wow;*

i been really thinking about colleges lately and i'm sort of torn. I got accepted to Georgia Southern, so it's not like i have nay options. it's just that i really wanna go to Howard University in D.C. , but i know i'm gonna miss Drique. I guess i'll always have feelings for him, but honestly we're on this 'friend' thing right now. Really close homey lover friends shit, you know.

Anyways, my BOYFRIEND mike told me he loved me last night :) . wow. i know. i was about as shocked as yall are. omfg. nut i like him a lot, but i have a feeling i'm not getting over drique enough to put my whole self into him. HMMMMM! i don't know. only time will tell i guess.

but let me tell you bout these lame ass freshman at my school. they FAST. i mean i know when i was a freshmen i was kinda wild, but these lil freshman girls needa sit down tryna make it seem like they the shit...no honey, YOU'RE A FRESHMAN. you're lame, you have no rank, and i'm gonna talk shit to you...why? CUZ I'M A FCKN SENIOR. damn. get the hell over it. i had to go thru it so you do too. aha :)

the fair is this weekend and i'm going with mike, then with my homegirl tiffany :). i'm excited! i sound like a lil ass kid, but i really am excited. i cant even fckn wait. it's like a reason for niggas to get drunk and act a damn fool. haha :) ain't nothing like getting drunk and going to the fair and riding all the rides wit my niggs! oh yes....i might post again tonight :)


adios.

i love this songg && this video concept. its amazing. random vid for the day i guess :)

i finally bought some new tongue rings todayy. i needed some more, cuz changes in season mean changes in color. so yea. i got a bright green one and a bright pink one. neon colors are always sexyy.

man, i was on myspace today && it hit me that there's an ass of girls on mypace that wanna be 'official'. not as in that official girl type shit. i mean OFFICIAL. like famous or some shit. all i see is 'official page of....' ! i mean, damn. if you are YOU than you're already official right? lol. i KNOW i'm essence. i'm officially essence, so i don't think i need to put that shit up. i know who the fck i am, ya digg.

on to another thing, i was at the flea market wit ma dukes and my auntie today, and this random nigga stopped and shook my hand. i ain't think it was too weird, but then he told me and my mama that we looked alike and we were beautiful african princesses. wow. i mean, first of all, my mama is cocoa brown...i mean deep dark chocolate...and as you can see i'm not. i'm caramel. like wtf && plus the only thing alike on us si our smile && nigga in public me and my mama keep a mug. idk. people can be weird. i had to share that cuz it was crazyy.

i'm on some random shit today so excuse me. but i had to state that i appreciate evryone who reads all this bull i write. haha ;). i have a friend named adam newman and he goes on my myspage page everyday and reads this daily && i appreciate the fact he's facinated with this life i live. he says i make my own quotes. haha ;) i try; most of the time i don't cuz real shit is efortless.

so to wrap this up, we have a three dayy week at school cuz of fall break and on thursday i'm getting micros. i'm ready cuz i'm going natural and my hair is naturally puffy/wavy. so i don't really like dealing with it until it's loooonnnggg. so i got some time to let it flow. until then i'll have micros in my head ;)

smoke. love. live.

hmmm, can i ask a question?

why niggas act like they can run game but as soon as you do, they offended?
;]
nigga please. i mean damn. when i try a relationship, it fucks me all up. niggas crazyy. i mean, this doesn't to my situation right now but its funny how niggas switch up.
lol. ;]

but um, i had to askk that. niggs got me switched up. get play'd.

haha, but drique is all goody ;] [me love].

wow; whirlwind turns in my life

got a boyfriend, feeling my boyfriend, but still in love wit ronndriques [ the guy i lived with]. its crazyy. i don't feel guilty talking on the phone with him every night, but when i talk to my boyfriend [mike] i start to feel kinda bad [not guilty]. wow. i mean i don't really knwo how to feel right now. im sitting in the moddle of NOWHERE on a damn rockk. urrrgghhh =/

its hard enough knowing that i messed up shit between me and ronndriques, but its worse when i really wanna be backk with him WHILE I HAVE A NEW BOYFRIEND. he called me his 'lost puppy' last night and thats exactly what i feel like. i want him back. is that bad? maybe. maybe not. i love him. then there's mike who i' feelingg a lot right now && i know we can build a lil future, but i honestly want DRIQUE to be future.

wow. confusion.

chillin like a villian =]

Yay. Im chillin wit my new friend I met on myspace =). She's so amazingg cuz she's just like me. We're both crazyy and wild and fckn fierce. Yes!
We totally got hit on at mcdonalds and its was the best thing ever to have a friend just as badd as as me. =]
I have a nunu friend and she's so bad ass =]

hip hip horayy!

well... today was kind of boring actually. other than the fact my cell crashed on my ass =[ . i was so mad. buut i got a new one and back at the textingg.

anddddd... i'm talking to this guy! i dont wanna reveal any names right now cuz it'll ruin it. so imma say just that...he's so cute =] . yay.

friday is the game against harlem && im not as excited about the looooonnnggg bus ride and no crowd participation. i mean, we'll beat them but i just want it to be as crunk as the last couple of games we had =]

but other than that, im coolingg =]

ttyl.

wow. long time =]

here i am at school. longg time since i got on here but i'll try to update more often now. errrggh. well, i'm single now =] haha. permenantly. me and tywaun finally realized out differences and let it GO ! i'm happy that im free from all that uneeded drama=]

um, i'm actually foing flag this year so i have like NO time at all during the week for anything but Bible Study and sometimes time to act a damn fool =].

i'm going to link my myspace to this so my friends can read my isane and crazy thought. bahahaha =]. i love being me online but it seems like on myspace people who aren't even my friends try to be ALL up in my shit. so yea.

my status is kind of bothering me at this moment because i want some one who i can cuddle and stuff with. you know? yea, but the added stress of a boyfriend is needed...so i guess i'm somewhat torn.

=]

boyfriend or no boyfriend?
we'll see.

hello there!

first blog on here. kindaa just wantedd a place to let my shit out =].

so to start off here's a lil info about mee=]. i'm essence and i pretty much rock. i have a boyfriend named tywaun and i love him. we've been on and off for three yearss. yeaa it's been a while. i got to lakeside and i absolutely hate it! oh yea, i'm sixteen and i love my car [even tho i claim to want a new one]. it's a '97 ford taurus. =]

so yeaa. i'll be getting on here frequentlyy.

thanks.