SO all the shit i knew would become stressful came to a head in the last couple dayss . me and vendo had our first argument and me and my mama had another argument out of our many .
january is gunna bring A LOT of mixed feelings and unshared emotions when it comes down to me and vendo's relationship and the overall outcome of it . im scared . i care about him deeply and it seems that every time i turn around these stupid ass exes of his or females who 'like' him have some kind of supposed dirt to put on my name . i hate that shit . it makes me feel as though i have to fight the world to be with him--and that just might be the case . hell, idk . i care so much about him, but i feel as though i might NEVER be 'girlfriend' and im trying not to tell myself not to be so stuck on a title because titles are what kills the best of relationships....hmm . idk . he's so secretive with his emotions it sometimes scares me .
my mama is starting to bxtch...and its not bc she's tryna be spiteful, its because she's gunna miss me so much when i leave ......i see her ! she thinks i dnt see the truth but i do . and this awkward strain is doing nothing to help me try to get thru these next two monthes here . hmmm .
so much on my mind, and so little time to clear it up . God please show me the way .
-essence .
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